soo.. i love silly straws :)

people should smile more :)

People should smile more
Im not saying there's nothing to cry for but you've got
Everything laid out for you
Just close your eyes, take a deep breath and start another war

Keep buying, keep moving, this city, is sitting,
next to me, we're laid out, it's gonna come, one thing is certain

I can't change the world
Cos tryin' to make a difference makes it worse
It's just an observation I can't ignore
That people should smile more
[people should smile more]

People should smile more
But the lights are so bright that they blind you, just one more
Meaningless scientific breakthrough
The more we know, the less we care whilst damaged on the way

Keep moving, keep buying, this city, is sitting
Next to me, we're laid out, it's gonna come, one thing is certain

I can't change the world
Cos tryin' to make a difference makes things worse
It's just an observation I can't ignore
That people should smile more

I can't change the world
Cos tryin' to make a difference makes things worse
It's just an observation I can't ignore
That people should smile more

I can't change the world
Cos tryin' to make a difference makes things worse
It's just an observation I can't ignore
That people should smile more

:) ♥

soo... i kinda really love life :)

:D ♥

nom nom nom

i'm so keen for summer

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :)

sometimes

sometimes i just wish i could fly away.

♥

dear paige..

dear paige,
hello :)
who, may i ask, are you exactly?? :)

plans ;)

cassie and i have come to the conclusion that if we chop our faces in half, and swap them then we would get out of thursday at school.
but we would probably die.
shame about that ;)

summer love

today was my first taste of summer in quite a while

mmm it was nice :)

please hurry up??

life ♥

life is amazing
its beyond amazing
and i forgot it until today
early morning bike rides
sleeping in maths
origami in japanese
laughing on the grass
summer jasmine
walking home in the sun
simple things remind me that life is good :)

:)

My Monologue

There was this guy that came into work the other day,he had the biggest, most guenuine smile, behind it his eyes were tired, sad, older somehow.
He asked me about my day, used my name. Most people don't use my name, they forget I'm a real person.
I'd seen him a few times, he was always the same.
He wobbled when he walked, swaying on his feet.
I always thought he had an accent, or maybe a cold. The way he talked, the way each word slurred into the other, people always get colds in winter, it makes sense, I guess.
He told me about the tattoo he was going to get, it was going to be a pink and blue octopus, between the other tattoos snaking around the back of his arm, and the scabs and scars on the inside of his elbow.
That was the moment my perfect little world crashed in around me.
He wobbled to a table, ate his food and drank one of his beers, pulled out a packet of cigarettes and put one on the table, to have later.
His eyes were glazed over, dull, lifeless.
I'd seen him around before, so many times before, I never noticed.
It made me wonder what else in life I turned a blind, naiive eye to.
Every person walking down the street has their own story, their own fears, triumphs, insecurities. They have a name, a family, a life. And we walk straight past them, never noticing, never caring...
I have finally opened my eyes, and I am looking at the world anew...

32 days :) ♥

all i have to say is http://www.shanalogic.com/ :) ♥

english

haha i don't like english
its rather boring
another 45 minutes to go! :O
i should be writing my macbeth essay...
but he was a psychopath, so it can wait :)
my thinking is that macbeth was influenced into murdering by his wife
and if i'm reading about her, then i might be influenced too.
so, on that note, i'm actually saving the general population by not doing it :)
completely unselfish of me, i know, i know ;)

Doubt.

Doubt.

Doubt can go die in a hole.

I've been doubting alot of things lately.

Doubting my abilities.

Doubting relationships.

Doubting whats in my heart.

Doubt can go die in a hole...

adventure, please??

I'm keen for adventure.

I guess I say it alot... Quite alot...

But its true!

I want to run until I don't know where I am...

Laugh, Dance, Cry

Scream at the top of my lungs.

I want to do exciting things.

Will you do exciting things with me??

Shall we go on an adventure??

:)

i feel like a loser wearing red lipstick.
oh, life is good :)

apologies.

its to say sorry, to feel remorse for something i guess... to try and make it up to the person that has been hurt.
so many apologies are just empty words, nothing meant by them, they're just said to get people out of trouble.
i try not to say things unless i mean them.
and then i say stupid things. i'm very good at saying stupid, hurtful things.
in my head they're not meant to be mean, i don't mean to do lots of things.
is it the intention behind something, or the way its recieved that matters most??
is it both??
if you only meant well, and what you said was misinterpreted, does that make you at fault for any hurt caused to the other person??
i guess so... they were my words, right...
could i go as far to say that if you weren't so quick to condemn then maybe you wouldn't get yourself in trouble so much??
i'm sorry for any offence i've caused you. i'm sorry i snapped back, what you said was really upsetting, i was only trying to help, but thats not an excuse... i feel really bad.
this silly little thing shouldn't come between friends...
i'm genuinely, honestly sorry.

today is a good day :) ♥

bam. today is a good day :)
its cold, its dreary, its winter, i'm in english, i'm bored out of my mind and its only third period.
but its still a good day :)
yeshh indeedy!
because, ya see, life is pretty good :)
despite the winter, and these full on wars going on, school in general, play rehersals! life is good!
i dunno, maybe theres something wrong with my brain, maybe definately, but i don't see the negatives in life, its just not possible. or at least i don't want it to be.
i don't see the point dwelling on things that really don't matter. they kind of suck :)
even if i could be sleeping right now, or trying not to fail, at least i'm happy in not doing anything :)
so there, thats my postive for the day. i'm just happy :)
yay xD

don't close your eyes...

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
...
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
...
Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over
...
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
...
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
...
This is your life are you who you want to be
This is your life are you who you want to be
...
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
...
And you had everything to lose...

the joy of life

i'm pretty sure, tonight i've found the joys of my life. between photo gazing, and reminiscing, exciting dance sessions, singing loudly and off key, chilling in warm hoodies, late night sugar runs, ghd curls, spending time with amazing people, smiling, giggling uncontrollably, late night secret texts, cuddling in warm doonas, its all sorts of amazing.
i think that life is pretty amazing :)
its funny, through everything thats been going on, which is honestly not all that much, haha, i kinda forget how amazing life really is.
its nice to look at the stars and remind ourselves... :)
theres some pretty amazing people in this world, and they make me happy :)
i kinda really love them, they make my world complete :)

just imagine...

hmm.. english is kind of boring.
there are so many things that i should be doing...
my massive shakespeare assignment, exo day planning, my historical narrative, i wrote a whole 5 words on that, so i'm doing better than i was doing half an hour ago.
i'm pretty good at procrastinating, i reckon its a skill.
i'm also good at thinking about all the things i could be doing instead of being here.
like sitting on some secluded beach in the middle of the tropics sipping drinks with umbrellas in them, chilling in a hammock, watching the sunset.
or by the fire, sipping hot chocolates after spending the day making snowmen.
or lying in the grass with someone special making animals in the clouds.
not in english in sale...

"The social psychology of this century reveals a major lesson: often it is not so much the kind of person a man is as the kind of situation in which he finds himself that determines how he will act." –Stanley Milgram, 1974

♥

infp

weeellll.. cos i'm super cool, i took a jung personality test.
sorry meg! haha
this is just how much work i do in english :P
anyways, apparently i'm an infp, or an idealist...??

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves
INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.
Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.
INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.
INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.
INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.
INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.
INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.
INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

well.. this was a great use of my class time :D haha

fire!

today my oldest and bestest friend was assaulted by a crazy girl wearing a stupid belt.

it was full of people walking past until the fight broke out, they disappeared, walked the opposite direction.

one guy told my friend to 'walk away', he kept walking.

the girl's friends stood around laughing and we just stood there.

no one did anything.

some other friends were in the shop next door, they could hear the yelling.

they thought it was someone else.

they did nothing.

of all the people in the center, no one did anything.

and i'm not having a go at them, because i just stood there... i didn't do anything.

i just find it interesting.

there was a woman named kitty genovese who was murdered in 1964, she cried out for help in the carpark of her apartment. she screamed and screamed and all her neighbours heard her.

finally one guy told the murderer to leave her alone, after he'd already stabbed her twice in the back.

kitty crawled back to her apartment, where the murderer finished her off ten minutes later.

there were 38 witnesses, none of which called the police or intervened.

this same results came up when an experiment with similar factors was conducted. people just don't want to help.

so next time you're in danger... scream fire...

people.

people interest me.
we're all so selfish.
self-serving.
i was taught in self defence never to scream help.
to always scream fire.
because if you call for help people will pretend they didn't hear you.
it doesn't affect them.
fires affect them, so they'll pay attention.
people also like to hide behind computer screens.
they abuse and hate from the safety of their bedrooms.
lying, rumours, death threats.
don't worry about those dark alley-ways...
its facebook you really have to worry about.
where people go to abuse others.
instead of looking them in the eyes as they break their hearts.
i believe in forgiveness.
but i'm always slow to do so.
i think there is far too much evil in the world.
yet i'm bringing my own in.
so yeah, i'm not perfect.
and i'm never pretending to be.
i believe that love is all we need.
that nothing else matters.
because negativity is bringing us down.
hope will build us up.
and at the end of the day you can be lying on the ground
or standing on top of a mountain.
its up to you.

don't need a miracle

feels somewhat wiser after putting my jumbled thoughts in words.
you may be confused.
i'm always confused.
i should probably get that checked out.
but its refreshing putting your thoughts out into the real world.
blogging is hardly the real world.
getting it out of my brain and onto something else.
its nice.
josh wilson has made my day.
made me realise things i didn't know i was able to realise.
things that had passed me by.
undetected, unnoticed.
don't need a miracle, something impossible, that makes you easy to believe, when you say everything that's right infront of me, is all the proof i'll ever need.

♥

would you dare, would you dare to believe, that you still have reason to sing, cause the pain that you've been feeling, it can't compare to the joy that's coming, so hold on, you gotta wait for the light, press on and just fight the good fight, cause you know the pain you're feeling, it's just the dark before the morning

but life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time but you'll see the bigger picture, once you feel the weight of glory, all your pain with fade to memory, its just the hurt before the healing, oh, the pain that you've been feeling, its just the dark before the morning.

♥ josh wilson- before the morning

freedom

we were meant to live for so much more

have we lost ourselves

somewhere we live inside

somewhere we live inside

i don't want to keep going through the motions, following orders, walking in circles. we worry about the shadows pooling in the corners of the box we've confined ourselves to, others have confined us to, not even beginning to wonder about the sun pouring through the holes in our prisons that creates those shadows, never occuring to us that there is more to life, more than these little boxes, more than hate, judgements, worry, why do we live this way, trapped behind negativity, betrayal, why can't we open our eyes and peer through the cracks in our self-made prisons, to the beauty of outside, with a single word the walls of these cells would come crashing down, we could be free, i don't want to keep going through the motions, i want freedom.

screaming laughing crying

life makes me want to scream

really loudly

its not like i have it harder than anyone else

i haven't at all..

but all these little things are piling up

crashing down

exams are stressing me out

friendships are falling apart

my insecurities are bringing me down

i get that to everyone else my problems are nothing

that their own are getting in their way

bringing them down

but they mean something to me

i guess all i'm trying to say is i'm just over it all

and i miss last year

when no one cared what the crap quadratic equations were

or why the man from snowy river was so important

we spent our time wondering why the windbreak was there

as it didn't actually break the wind

it just intensified it

or how best to make sculptures with packaging tape

we didn't know who Erik Erikson was, nor did we care

but if we did, we would have laughed that he made up his own last name

but we don't now

our focus is firmly locked on his theories of personality development

life makes me want to scream, laugh and cry

all at the same time

so i choose to laugh

♥ true love

theres this guy

he's unlike any other

the way he smiles

the way he looks at me

he loves me

with all of his heart

and i love him

he's always there for me

when i need him desperately

or if i just want to talk

good or bad

rain hail or shine

no matter what people say

he's the one

i know it

he gave his life for mine

but i know he's still with me

and he always will be

his name is jesus

and i love him more than words can ever say :)

what the media has taught us :)

if movies have taught us anything, its that despite all the crap going on, theres a really good looking guy to end it all, that or a masked serial killer.
that there will always be a happy ending, that the good guys aways win, that no one goes to to the toilet unless someone has to spill a massive secret.
but do we really want life to be like it is on the big screens??
perfect and totally predictable??
or boring, and completely normal.
is it too much to ask to have a bit of both..??
because i would love the adventure and excitement of movies
to be able to do what you want, and never had a bad hair day, unless it was crucial to the plot.
we could just make our lives more like movies.
i know that sounds a little crazy..
but think about it..
live life without consequence, go on adventures.
if as you die your life flashes before your eyes..
then you better make it worth watching.

sun craving

i'm having a bit of a crazy day..

why is it winter??

it can't be winter.. its not winter yet..

it's not allowed to be winter!

its just cold. all the time.. i sound a little crazy..

but i always sound crazy

have you noticed, that in movies, its never winter?

its never cold, unless the setting is a beautiful snow covered town..

but where i live, is hardly a beautiful snow covered town.

its just cold.

i'm very over the cold..

sun? where did you go?

lesson one in procrastination

i'm a very good procrastinator, i've come to the conclusion.
the computer is not a good tool at my disposal.
all i had to do was print out the definition of communism.
thats all, not that hard.
its taken me 2 and a half hours to do so.
but of course i had to check my emails, but oohh, look at that!
so many messages from facebook! must check that out!
and ohh it james! i should send him a message.
then of course play with photoshop for a bit..
hmm, i should check my blogger.
and then procrastinate further by writing a blog on procrastination.

kirki, they should give you a medal.
you have truly mastered the art of not doing school work that was due yesterday.
which you only do because you don't want to do a different task that was due three weeks ago.
but, a word of warning, you can only recieve the medal if you fail completely, and flunk high school.
good luck with that!

winter maths lessons

i'm having one of those days.. you know the ones??
when you look out the window and wonder..

why am i inside when the sun is shining
and the birds are singing..??

then i pick up my pencil and finish graphing linear inequations..

i wish i could open the window and soar through the blue skies, breathe in the fresh air, instead of sitting in the stuffy maths room, listening to thirty other people sniffling from the cold.

but heyy, its winter. i should enjoy enjoy the sun, even if it is behind sheets of glass and heaters..

hello :) ♥

hello :) my name is kirki :)
i'd like to think i'm a positive person
music is in my soul
yawning in contagious
maths is dull
i am unique :)